⚡ I Want Your Mother To Be With Me

Ican show you what it's like. Till you're bleeding. [Post-Chorus] Not about to see your light. And if you want to find hell with me. I can show you what it's. [Verse 2] Mother. Tell your children

Download Article Download Article The definition of a good mother varies depending on who you ask. However, most people agree that the most important thing is to love your children and make sure they feel loved. There aren’t any set rules for how to be a mom, but there are some guidelines you can use to parent your children in a loving way. Here are 13 ways you can be a more supportive, loving mother. Dish out plenty of love in the form of hugs, kisses, and praise. Affection reminds your child that they are loved unconditionally. Plus, it’s linked to higher self-esteem, better academic performance, fewer behavioral problems, and an overall stronger relationship between you and your child.[1] Make sure most of the interactions you have with your children are positive and loving. Strive to show affection daily. If you have a baby, affection may simply involve holding your infant regularly or speaking reassuringly. Advertisement Quality time is important for building strong relationships. If you have multiple children, make an effort to hang out with each one on their own instead of as a group. Even short windows of time can strengthen the bond between you two.[2] If you're dealing with a baby or toddler, one-on-one time might include getting down on the floor and playing with them. For an older child, try doing a hobby with them, like baking, hiking, or doing arts and crafts. Validate your child’s interests to help them feel worthy. Even if it’s not exactly what you’d choose for yourself, nurturing their interests can help boost your kid’s self esteem and make them feel confident in their own life. Their interests may come and go, so be prepared to shift gears fairly often.[3] If your teenager has joined a band, give some positive feedback about the songs they write. If your preteen is obsessed with space, buy them books or take them on a trip to the planetarium. Advertisement It will help your children feel confident in themselves and in you. Even if your child messes up or you have to discipline them, let them know that you still love them. As a parent, your job is to love your child for who they are, not for who you wish they were.[4] Try to avoid criticizing or blaming your child for their mistakes. Instead, focus on what they can do better next time. Communicate with your kids about what’s okay and what isn’t. Hold a family meeting to verbalize the guidelines and be sure everyone understands the consequences if they don’t comply. Then, post a cheat sheet of the rules in a common area, like on the fridge.[5] Make rules clear and concise but with a positive spin, like "Everyone should walk indoors" instead of "No running in the house!" Depending on the age of your children, you might have an open discussion with them to decide on fair rules and consequences together. You might start trying to do this once your child is able to work out for themselves some consequences to misbehavior. Advertisement You made the rules, and your children have to follow them. You don’t have to be a stickler for discipline—if someone comes home 5 minutes after curfew, you can let it slide. However, make sure you enforce the rules that you’ve set up so your kids know you mean business.[6] Disciplining your children for rule-breaking doesn’t necessarily translate to being mean. Criticize the behavior rather than the child. This might sound like, "Isaiah, what should you do instead of pushing Charlie? Because you pushed, you’ll have to wait 5 more minutes before taking a turn to show how patient you can be." Make sure the consequences feel logical. For example, if your child watches too much TV and didn’t finish their homework, consider limiting their screen time. Think about the example that you’re setting for your children. If you tell them not to lie, you shouldn’t tell lies either. If you often talk about the importance of healthy eating, try to stick to a balanced diet. Kids are more likely to follow the rules if you follow them, too.[7] This also includes modeling things like being a hard worker and not using drugs or alcohol. Advertisement You’re not going to be a perfect mom, and that’s okay. When you admit your mistakes and apologize for them, you show your children that you respect them as human beings. Admitting your own wrongdoing shows your kids that there’s nothing to be ashamed of about mistakes—as long as they fess up and try to make amends.[8] For instance, if you accidentally compare one kid to another, acknowledge that it was wrong by saying, "Jeff, I want to apologize to you. I compared you to your brother yesterday and I shouldn’t have. Each of you is special with your own qualities. Will you please forgive me?" Good moms don't try to do it all on their own. If you're parenting with a spouse or partner, ask them to share the load with you. If you're overwhelmed, request that they take on more duties, so you can rest. You might also give them specific tasks to do so that you're not bogged down.[9] This might sound like, "Sweetie, I haven't slept well in days. Do you mind putting the kids to bed tonight so I can turn in early?" If you don’t have a co-parent, that’s okay. Try to lean on your support system, like a good friend or family member, for help. Advertisement Show your children how to treat people appropriately. Whether you’re with your spouse, co-parent, family members, friends, or strangers, you should always treat people with respect and kindness. Let your kids know what it means to be a good friend or partner, and show them how you actively listen, compromise, and share with others.[10] Use teachable moments when you and your spouse disagree on lighter matters to show your kids how to work through conflicts. You shouldn’t feel guilty about taking a break every now and then. It sends a message to your kids about the importance of managing stress and caring for oneself. Plus, spending time apart helps you decompress and helps them learn to do things on their own.[11] Being stressed out affects your children, so carve out time for self-care daily. This might be unwinding with a long soak and a book each evening, or enjoying a quiet cup of coffee before the kids rise every morning. Just remember to take care of you! Don't be afraid to tell your children that you're taking some time to yourself. Explain self-care to them and ask them what they do for self-care. This will build a healthy habit in your children. Advertisement Parenting comes with a lot of high stress situations. If you ever feel yourself about to lose your cool, stop and take a few deep breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth. It might also help to count to 10 before you react to a situation. If you calm yourself down first, you can work on figuring out a solution without blowing up.[12] Meditation and yoga can also help you lower your stress levels throughout the day. Friends and family members can help out when you’re overwhelmed. If you need to, reach out to a close friend or a family member to simply chat or get out of the house. You can also join a mom group in your local community to connect with others who also have kids.[13] Meet the moms of your kids’ friends at school, at church, or on the playground to make new friends. It’s equally important to connect with others as a human being, not only as a mom! Hang out with friends, go on dates, and cherish your familial relationships, too. Advertisement Conversation Help Ask a Question 200 characters left Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered. Submit Advertisement Don't be afraid to ask for help when you need it. Having a support system is really important, especially right after you bring your baby home.[14] Advertisement References About This Article Article SummaryXTo be a good mother, try to set clear, firm rules and be consistent with your consequences. For example, if your child pushes their sibling, give them the same punishment every time, like 5 minute time-out, so they know learn that breaking rules is a bad thing. Besides teaching good behavior, you can be a good mother by showing your love and support! You can ask your kids about their interests to show you care. Additionally, make sure to attend their games and performances, which will show your kids how proud you are. To learn how to split responsibilities with your partner to give yourself time to recharge, read more from our Counselor co-author! Did this summary help you? Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 876,331 times. 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When I was a little girl I had a journal that someone had given me that was a record of my school experiences. It had a section for each elementary school year. It had places for my school pictures, class pictures, a pocket for my report card, places to list my favorite subjects, and my friends. Each year it also asked the question, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" It had a blank line for me to fill in and I thought long and hard about this question every year. I think I filled in "teacher" multiple times, and I think I put "airline stewardess" once. One time I think I even put "dentist." It boggles my mind now, that I never once thought to put that I wanted to be a mother. You see, for as long as I can remember I have looked forward to motherhood. When I was young I couldn't wait to be a babysitter - the closest thing in my young mind to being a mother. After high school I attended BYU. A few weeks after the end of my 4th year at BYU, our first child was born. During that year of classes which I attended amidst morning sickness and other pregnancy related discomforts I received advice from numerous sources that I ought to finish up my degree after the baby arrived. After all, I had only one class and my student teaching left. But I had no desire for that. I had waited my whole life to be a mother and not even a college degree could entice me to give up one minute of raising my baby. My college years ended when he arrived. I have never felt that not finishing my degree was a sacrifice for me. I learned much at BYU and am so grateful for that experience. It helped me to grow up and prepared me to be a wife and mother. I have never in the last 21 years yearned to go back and finish. I consider my life raising and teaching 9 children to be the ultimate "student teaching" experience. I don't need a piece of paper or letters after my name to feel that I am in the midst of accomplishing something great. Yesterday I asked a couple of my daughters age 9 and 6 what they wanted to be when they grow up. Immediately, no prompting or prep they both chimed, "a mother." I was ecstatic. I am grateful that my example of a mother has been a good one. Even though mothering can be exhausting, frustrating, and difficult, I have truly tried to regularly express to my children how much joy being a mother brings me. I tell them often that I would not change my life and decision to be a mother for anything. Our daughters develop attitudes toward motherhood, good or bad, by watching us as mothers. Even as young as two, they are watching what we do. Earlier this summer I was at the playground with the children. I had our brand new baby in the Bjorn carrier to keep him out of the wind which was pretty wild that day. He was wide awake and I needed to be walking to keep him happy. I decided to walk around the sidewalk that goes around the perimeter of the park. It is a quarter mile long and you can see the whole sidewalk from the playground so I felt comfortable leaving everyone to play while I did so. On my second time around I looked back to see my little girl, age two, about halfway around the loop. She was carrying her baby doll, which she had insisted on putting in her little car seat and bringing to the park. After seeing my tiny little girl taking this big walk around this big sidewalk, I turned around to go back to meet her so we could walk together. She told me that she was taking her baby for a walk. She was truly in "mother" mode that day. She'd seen me walking with my baby I'd told her that I needed to walk with him to keep him happy and decided that her baby needed a walk to keep her happy as well. This same daughter regularly sits on a chair and "nurses" her dolls, and stands holding her baby, swaying back and forth the way I know she's seen me do countless times. These little ones really are observant! As Moms we need to be careful what they observe of our behavior and attitudes towards our mother and home duties. President David O. McKay said concerning the importance of motherhood “This ability and willingness properly to rear children, the gift to love, and eagerness, yes, longing to express it in soul development, make motherhood the noblest office or calling in the world. She who can paint a masterpiece or write a book that will influence millions deserves the admiration and the plaudits of mankind; but she who rears successfully a family of healthy, beautiful sons and daughters, whose influence will be felt through generations to come, whose immortal souls will exert an influence throughout the ages long after paintings shall have faded, and books and statues shall have decayed or shall have been destroyed, deserves the highest honor that man can give, and the choicest blessings of God. In her high duty and service to humanity, endowing with immortality eternal spirits, she is co-partner with the Creator himself.” Gospel Ideals, Salt Lake City Improvement Era, 1953, pp. 453–54.

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Accordingto clinical psychologist Sarah Schewitz, anxiety can be a common factor behind a controlling mother’s behavior. “People with anxiety tend to think of the worst-case scenario and fear

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i want your mother to be with me